When Strangers Baby-Talk Your Child: The Real Reason It Feels Wrong
FAMILY IN THEORY & PRACTICE
The Parenting Commandments
Volume 1: Concerning the Babble and the False Tongue
(aka: What to Do When People Baby-Talk Your Kid)
In the House of Crow and White, we don’t perform for approval. We honor the god in the child.
There came a day when the Little One marched through the Great Market, a truck in one hand, a tomato in the other.
He was full of business. He was singing the holy song of "Vroom Vroom" and "Mine" down every sacred aisle.
And behold, the Strangers approached.
Their faces split wide with sugar smiles.
Their voices shrank into syrupy babble.
"Ooooh, what a wittle cutie pie! What a precious baby-waby-boo!"
The Little One paused.
He stared.
He clutched the melon tighter, the truck tighter, the fire behind his eyes flashing once, then turning away.
He offered no smile. No wave. No permission.
The Parents saw it.
They knelt low and said, in the old tongue:
"You are seen. You are whole."
They did not force him to wave.
They did not shame his silence.
And so the Little One taught them again:
Real recognition needs no distortion.
🪶 Real Talk: What’s Actually Happening Here?
From the Parent’s Side:
Western culture has trained parents to think:
“If my kid doesn’t smile, it’s rude.”
“If they don’t respond to an adult’s attention, I look like a bad parent.”
“It’s polite to perform.”
Why? Because in Western conditioning:
Children are seen as performers for adults' approval.
Good manners = immediate obedience.
Children’s comfort comes second to adult egos.
But guess what?
Your child's silence isn't rude.
It’s truthful.
It’s their sacred "No, thank you" without using words.
No child owes a stranger a performance.
(And neither do you.)
From the Child’s Side:
When strangers baby-talk?
The child feels:
"You're not seeing me."
"You're mocking the sacred work I’m doing."
"You're shrinking me down to something less than what I am."
Children know real communication when they hear it.
They can spot fake sweetness a mile away.
When a child turns away from babble, they’re not being "rude."
They’re protecting their self-respect.
And that’s holy.
Crow Roast:
"Oh, you thought melting your face into goo and babbling like a cartoon donkey was gonna win them over?
Baby crow, they see the trick. They see through the glitter paint. Speak like a soul or don't speak at all."
📜 Book of the Small Reference
"Every tantrum is a star. Every sob is a universe."
Translation:
Every real emotion, every real boundary, every real moment matters.
Fake speech? That’s a false star. No wonder the child turns their ship another way.
🧠 The Science (No Big Words)
Studies show:
Infants prefer real speech patterns (known as "parentese" – slow, clear, real exaggerated speech) over fake, high-pitched babble.
Children recognize tone mismatch by 9 months old — they know when your face says “happy” but your voice says “forced.”
Secure attachment builds on real connection, not performance.
When a child gets fake-talked at constantly?
➡️ They either shut down
➡️ Or start to perform at the cost of their inner compass
Neither is what we want.
🪄 Mini-Spell for Parents:
The Sacred Speech Spell
🔹 What to Do:
Before entering public spaces, place your hand over your own throat.
Breathe deep. Say:
"I will speak from my chest, not my mask."
Smile gently at your child.
Let them see you talk like a real person, not a circus act.
🔹 Why:
You protect their reality by modeling it.
✍️ Journal Prompts
When do I feel pressure to make my child perform?
Where did I learn that silence = rudeness?
What does it feel like when someone speaks to me fake-sweet?
How can I model real communication for my child today?
🕯️ Mantras to Mumble in the Aisle
“My child’s soul doesn’t shrink for strangers.”
“Real love speaks real words.”
“I am the guardian of the real.”
🎯 FAQ / Potential Pushbacks
Q: But isn’t it just harmless fun?
A: Play is holy. Mockery isn't.
When strangers babble, it’s rarely real play—it’s often about making themselves feel good. Real play involves consent and recognition.
Q: Should I stop everyone who baby-talks my kid?
A: You don’t have to police the world.
But you can shield your child without fanfare:
Step between if needed.
Model real speech immediately after ("Hey there, what are you working on? Truck or tomato today?")
Signal your child: “You don’t have to answer anyone you don’t want to.”
Q: My family gets offended if my child doesn’t perform. What do I do?
A: Bless their intentions. But parent your way.
Smile. Nod. Redirect.
Later, model for your child:
"You’re allowed to choose who you respond to."
The family’s feelings are theirs to manage.
Closing Blessing
"May your words be wide enough to hold the god in the child.
May your silence be strong enough to honor their no.
And may you always kneel before the real, even in aisle seven."
93, little storm-makers. 🌩️
🪶 NEXT UP?
Volume 2: Concerning the Ticklish Torture
(aka: Why non-consensual tickling isn't as cute as you think)
