Tarot Reading: Magician, 5 of Wands, Empress – Stop Waiting for Permission to Be Powerful.

🔥 Shadow Work / Self-Sabotage Spread:
Card 1: “What am I avoiding that secretly runs me?”
Card 2: “Where do I keep betraying myself?”
Card 3: “What part of me is still shapeshifting for love?”

Before we dive into this card (and roast you lovingly), a little context:

This post is part of a full 78-card tarot project I’m creating called “Loui Crow Tarot: Don’t Shoot the Messenger.” Every card meaning—like the one you’re about to read—is being made freely available to everyone. Deck or no deck.

Yes, even if you're still using that crusty Rider-Waite with coffee stains and abandonment issues.

Because tarot isn’t just a product—it’s a process. A ritual. A roast.
This deck blends practical magick, sacred sass, emotional clarity, and actual steps you can take after you stop spiraling.

It doesn’t just tell you what’s coming.
It tells you what to do with it.

🔮 THE SPREAD: THE BODY SAID NO (AND YOUR SOUL AGREED)

🎴 THE MAGICIAN

Card 1: The Magician
🗯 “You’re not confused. You’re waiting for permission.”

The Magician shows up like a slick inner salesperson—but let’s be honest: you’ve been stuck in idea hoarding mode. You’ve Googled yourself into a corner. Every tool you begged the universe for? You already have it. But instead of starting messy, you’re stalling beautifully.

You’re not planning—you’re self-soothing with Pinterest boards.

This card asks: what would it mean to use what you’ve been given before it feels perfect?

🎴 FIVE OF WANDS

The drama you say you hate?
You’re in it. You’re it.
Half the chaos you blame on others is you. We are all mirrors. 

You learned to shapeshift so early, you forgot your original form.
Now you’re addicted to keeping everyone calm
because peace makes you nervous and quiet makes you feel disposable.

You’re not the neutral one.
You’re the one who absorbs everything and then explodes alone.

Letting everyone think you're fine isn’t humility. It’s emotional self-harm.

You’re not above the noise.
You are the noise—just quieter, and more polite.

🎴 THE EMPRESS

Oh, Empress. The patron saint of over-functioning.

You turned care into a brand.
You call it love.
You call it presence.
But really? It’s a desperate attempt to never be left behind.

They didn’t ask you to carry them.
You just thought being essential would keep you safe.

You're burnt out and pretending it’s sacred.
You think if you’re soft enough, sweet enough, giving enough,
they’ll finally choose you without making you beg.

But deep down, you know:

If they only love you when you’re useful, that’s not love. That’s labor.

(Keep scrolling past image for final words and a customized ritual based on the spread!)

💀 THE FINAL INCINERATION:

This isn’t just self-sabotage.
This is a survival script where you stay small, needed, invisible, agreeable, exhausted, overbooked, and under-seen—
because if you ever slowed down,
if you ever rested without earning it,
if you ever spoke your mind with no apology attached—

you’re scared they’d leave.

but..
you already left yourself.

—

Let it hit. Then scream into a pillow, cancel something, and do one selfish, sacred thing today that doesn’t help a single f*cking person but you.

🔥 RITUAL: "The Quit Spell"

📿 INTENTION:

To stop performing. To call your energy back.
To remember who you are without the pressure to prove it.

🕯️ THE STEPS:

1. The Sit-Down (Magician)
Find a quiet moment. Sit. No music. Just stillness.
Say out loud:

“I have everything I need.
I just keep pretending I don’t because I’m scared to start.”

Then whisper the one thing you want to do—but keep avoiding.
Say it. Out loud. Even if it cracks your voice.

No journaling. No prepping. Just witness the truth in your own mouth.

2. The Shut-Up (Five of Wands)
Pull back your energy from every voice in your head that isn’t yours.
Family. Friends. Expectations. Social media spirals. Imaginary arguments.
Now clap your hands—once. Loud. Sharp. Final.
Let that be the line.

Then say:

“That’s not mine.
That’s not mine.
That’s not mine either.”

Feel your body settle. Keep whatever stays quiet.

3. The Lay-Down (Empress)
Lie down. No phone. No podcast. No productivity.
Place your hand on your chest. Say:

“This body doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.
This rest is a spell.
I do not need to be helpful right now”

Then breathe. Stay. Melt.
The magick is in the not leaving yourself this time.

🖤 FINISH IT WITH A LINE:

“I choose my own energy over their expectations.”

Say it until your nervous system believes you again.

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